No Dignity 2060
by Jay Hawk1
Summary: The corpse of Stone Cold and the oldest wrestler, The Rock, go head to head.
1. The Interviews

NO DIGNITY 2060  
PART 1:THE INTERVIEWS  
  
"Welcome WWF fans to NO DIGNITY 2060! I'm Annoying Guy, and next to me is, no one,"  
says Annoying Guy, getting really sad, " Well, anyway. Tonight we're going to see the oldest  
wrestler ever take on the corpse of StoneCold Steve Austin! We now take you to Mark  
Tamorisoritafoolboyjones, interviewing the oldest wrestler in history, The Rock."  
  
"Rock, are you proud to be the oldest wrestler in the WWF?" asked Chris.  
  
"Well, Mark Tomfool, whatever, some would consider The Rock the youngest wrestler in the  
WWF," said The Rock, proudly.  
  
"What?" said Mark, completely confused.  
  
"Never mind. Well, sonny, The Rock has had the WWF tittle for 20 years, and The Rock isn't  
gonna lose to some roody poody candy man who pretendsto be dead," The Rock comments  
while coughing hysterically.  
  
"Ummmmm, Stone Cold Steve Austin really is dead. You're not theWWF champion. You  
haven't been the WWF for at least 50 years. Plus thechampion is--" Mark stopped as The Rock  
slowly put his hand in front of Mark's face.  
  
"Shut your mouth jaroni!" said The Rock.  
  
"Don't you mean jabroni?" asked Mark.  
  
"I ssaaiidd, screwa, youa," said The Rock.  
  
"Actually you said-" Mark began, but was once again interrupted by The Rock  
  
"Shut your mouth jaroni!" yelled The Rock, trying to be intimidating,  
  
"Finally, The Rock, has come back, to New York!"  
  
"Rock, we're in Chicago," reminded Mark.  
  
"I said Chicago, jaroni! Anyway, The Rock is gonna do three things to Austin. Number one. The  
Rock is gonna beat Austin to a bloody corpse." began The Rock.  
  
"Already happened," said Mark to himself.  
  
"Number two," said The Rock unable to hear Mark's comments, "The Rock is gonna make  
Austin wish he was dead."  
  
  
"Also already happened," Mark commented again.  
  
"And number two," The Rock continued, "The Rock is gonna take his hand, turn it counter  
clockwise in a 540 degree rotation, and shove it straight down your chewy ears! If you  
smeeeellllllllllllllllel, what The Rock, what I, what I'm, cooking food. How's that go?"  
  
"Rriigghhtt," said Mark, "Ummmmm, back to you Annoying Guy."  
  
"Well, Mark, you make sure Rock can find the ring for his match, okay?" asked Annoying Guy.  
  
"But, we're only one room away from the ring," responded Mark.  
  
"I know," said Annoying Guy, "We now take you to Richard Nixon, via satellite, over at the  
Chicago Pride Cemetery. Richard, what's goin' down over there?"  
  
"Well, Annoying Guy," began Richard, "I can tell you what's goin' up. Because right now I'm in  
the process of digging up Stone Cold, and I gotta tell you that tonight I won't be in the arena  
because I'm stoned cold. Wa ha ha ha  
ha ha ha ha ha. Get it? Stoned cold is like Stone Cold. It's a joke. What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Ummmmm, right. Funny funny. Ha ha. Isn't digging up a corpse illegal?"  
asked Annoying guy, suspiciously.  
  
"I am not a crook." said Richard.  
  
  
And dat's the end a dat chapter. The rest'll be up in a week or so. 


	2. The Not So Big Fight

PART 2  
  
"Well," said Annoying Guy, "after that, um, interesting, yes interesting, good one. What, are we  
on? Whoops, um, folks we're having some technical difficulties, a screw it! We're gonna take a  
break cause the stinkin' guys backstage, yea, yea, I'm talkin' bout' you ugly, are gonna take me off  
the air."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hi everyone! I'm Mr. Happyman, the announcer. Before the match, we're gonna take some calls  
from the fans out there and talk about whatever they want. Who's going to win tonight, whatever.  
Here's our first caller, it's our good friend from, um, I can't make out the cards, um ,I mean,  
Annoying Gu-"  
  
"Screw you!" screams Annoying Guy as Mr. Happyman hangs up quickly.  
  
"Well, I certainly have no idea at all who that was, so, next call. Steve?" said Mr. Happyman like  
nothing happened.  
  
"Hey, yea, like where's Annoying Guy? He was cool. You're just some gay freak." said Steve.  
  
"Well, friend, I would kindly and nicely answer you, but I have absolutely no idea who  
Annoying Guy is. And I'm not gay! I just experimented a bit in college!" screamed Mr.  
Happyman as he hung up on another, unsatisfied customer. "Well I think we've had enough of  
those bogus calls, and Richard Nixon has dragged in the corpse of Stone Cold, though it is  
covered with maggots. So, let's get down to the ring for some action.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," began Intro Dude, "let's get ready to wrestle!"  
  
And with that the Rock's intro music began to play, though in the year 2060, the Rock's music  
would be less than cool, equaling about, Elton John. He waddled to the ring and, with the help of  
at least ten stage hands, was finally lifted into the ring. Next the 2001 fan favorite song of Stone  
Cold Steve Austin was barely heard over the loud boos and screams as his corpse was arir lifted  
into the arena by Richard Nixon, apparently all lickered up. As soon as the crowd caught a  
glimpse of the swerving helicopter they went wild. The Rock, thinking the crowd was cheering  
for him tried to get up on the turnbuckle to raise his eyebrow, but instead fell to the ground,  
making the crowd roar even louder. But once Stone Cold fell out of the helicopter when Nixon  
crashed it the crowd was on their feet, screaming and cheering like they never had before, which  
some of them haadn't, so, it kinda worked out.  
  
Thus we draw an end to are amazing story, and they all lived happily ever after. Or, well, not  
Stone Cold or the Rock. They aren't ever living. Nonetheless, always watch the stars. 


End file.
